i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dick very happy bro
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
