whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
