I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
