Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
