Tell her she can't have a vagina
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
