No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well you can't waste a boner
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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