I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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