do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
