Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize