ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
