the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
