so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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