I feel like abortions should bother me more
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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