Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
