Do you still have your period?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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