i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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