I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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