YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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