Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
