The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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