you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize