i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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