College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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