who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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