let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
