Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
