yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
