So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
