in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
