So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
