well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
