sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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