there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
