I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
