can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize