I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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