Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
