I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
