Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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