I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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