They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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