I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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