i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
