he shaved USA in his pubs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
