i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's Friday. Sex?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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