taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize