He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
