She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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