You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
