you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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