Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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