I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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