am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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