If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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