i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize