Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
