Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
