just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
